I am truly a mom over the top! I have been a compulsive overeater for most of my life. The first time I remember specific over the top eating behaviors was when I was 13 years old. That was 24 years ago. I started on this journey to health, to abstinence, to sanity in May, 2010. I hope that by blogging I can help, not only myself, but help others to know that they aren't alone. My tools on this journey are Overeaters Anonymous and SparkPeople.

Don't Give Up

I attended a new OA meeting this morning. It was a very small but welcoming group and I think that I have found the meeting that will keep me coming back. When I got into the car to head home afterward my Josh Groban CD started playing and it is amazing to me how lyrics can completely change meaning in specific situations.

This is what I heard as I pulled out of the parking lot:
You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

"Don't give up
It's just the weight of the world
When your heart's heavy
I...I will lift it for you

Don't give up
Because you want to be heard
If silence keeps you
I...I will break it for you

Everybody wants to be understood
Well I can hear you
Everybody wants to be loved
Don't give up
Because you are loved"

The song goes on and if you haven't heard it you really need to take a moment to listen to it. As the words took on new meaning for me I couldn't help but be moved.

The point of OA (and forums like those here at SP) is to commune with people who really understand what we are going through. So I won't give up and when I feel like the world is resting on my shoulders I will attend a meeting or open up the SP forums and share what is weighing on my mind so that you all can help me lift that weight. I know that these are places where I will be heard and where those who truly understand me can give me input, support and advice.

"Don't give up
It's just the hurt that you hide
When you're lost inside
I...I will be there to find you"

I will no longer hide the hurt of nasty stares and snide remarks. I will no longer cower behind the walls I have built in defense. I will share my hurt and my fears with those know know and can help me find my way. I will recover from this addiction of compulsive overeating with the help of those who are traveling this path with me and those who are continuing to heal after they have found their own control.


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