I am truly a mom over the top! I have been a compulsive overeater for most of my life. The first time I remember specific over the top eating behaviors was when I was 13 years old. That was 24 years ago. I started on this journey to health, to abstinence, to sanity in May, 2010. I hope that by blogging I can help, not only myself, but help others to know that they aren't alone. My tools on this journey are Overeaters Anonymous and SparkPeople.

Trying to hand it over

The first three steps of OA  are

1. We admitted we were powerless over food — that our lives had become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives

For me the first step was easy. All I had to do is look at my past and my present to know that I have no power over food. I have been on diet after diet only to return to habits that I know are harmful to my health and therefore to my life. Doing the same thing over and over again expecting a different outcome is the definition of insanity.

The second step is convoluted for me. I believe that my higher power can truly intervene and restore reason to me but allowing it to happen isn't as easy.

Step three is more difficult. I have made the decision to change my life but as much as I want to put put faith in God it is difficult to hand it all over. I am trying. I am trying to find some inner peace that seems ever out of reach but I am trying.

As I was contemplating this all this morning I looked up the Serenity Prayer. Much to my surprise it doesn't end after that one short paragraph which many of us have memorized. It goes on. So I had to put it with a photo I took just a few days ago.

I am going to try to live my life one day, one moment at a time. I am going to try to put my faith where it belongs. I am going to beat my addiction to food and on the road to recovery I hope I made many promising discoveries about myself.


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