I went to a meeting I don't normally attend. It was pretty amazing. A woman was celebrating 29 years of abstinence. Her story was so much more extreme then mine. After hearing her speak I thought about how many excuses I have made for myself. I am the only one who can control my food. I am the only one who can turn my flaws over to God and ask for the will to do it.
I am truly a mom over the top! I have been a compulsive overeater for most of my life. The first time I remember specific over the top eating behaviors was when I was 13 years old. That was 24 years ago. I started on this journey to health, to abstinence, to sanity in May, 2010. I hope that by blogging I can help, not only myself, but help others to know that they aren't alone. My tools on this journey are Overeaters Anonymous and SparkPeople.
Things are starting to give
It seems like I am getting back into gear. I am on the road of less than perfect abstinence but at least I am on the right road instead of trying to take a freaking shortcut. I am down 2.5 pounds from last week. I still can't believe I had allowed myself to gain 13 pounds during my recovery. Winter was rough and it seems like spring is refusing to begin. I am looking out the window at this moment watching snowflakes fall. Wanting to yell MOTHER NATURE IT'S SPRING and knowing it won't make a difference. I went out to check the mail a little while ago after remembering that we never did yesterday. As I walked out the door it was just beginning to spit snow. I actually said loudly "stupid snow" and the builder working on the house next door cracked up. Next time I must remember to check for an audience before muttering in frustration.
So my mom read an article this week about grapefruit reducing blood sugar when eaten with or just before a meal. She bought me 12 grapefruit and a half gallon of juice. I HATE grapefruit, unless of course it is covered in sugar which completely defeats the point. So twice a day I have been choking down bitter fruit to appease my mom. It might have helped my weight loss, it might not have but I am not enjoying it and am having acid reflux which doesn't usually bother me. I guess it is time to tell my mom I don't want to bother. EEK! I hate those conversations.
I have an appointment with the allergist on Saturday and have to be without long acting antihistamines (like loratadine or cetrizine) for 7 days ahead of time and can't take diphenhydramine for 4 days ahead of time. I am less than two days off of Zyrtec© and am a complete and total mess. I am sneezing, coughing and choking on drainage. I tried taking Benadryl© with no ease of symptoms. This is going to be a long week. I am hoping this is simply a cold that will be gone in a couple of days and isn't just the beginning of a week of misery. Either way I am just anxious to get answers. I am so incredibly tired of being sick.
I have been keeping busy with my crochet business. It is starting to pick up. Now I need to get some sunhats made up so I can get summer business as well. There is seriously nothing cuter that a baby, toddler or child in a handmade hat. No matter what time of year. I know summer is a big season for baby gifts as well so I am hoping to continue being able to contribute financially as I have been the past few weeks.
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