I am truly a mom over the top! I have been a compulsive overeater for most of my life. The first time I remember specific over the top eating behaviors was when I was 13 years old. That was 24 years ago. I started on this journey to health, to abstinence, to sanity in May, 2010. I hope that by blogging I can help, not only myself, but help others to know that they aren't alone. My tools on this journey are Overeaters Anonymous and SparkPeople.
I keep telling my very nearly two-year-old that he had better be grateful that he is so stinking cute. If he wasn't I would toss him out with the trash as payback for the little presents he leaves for me in his diapers. There is nothing as stinky as a toddler who eats solid food and drinks soy milk. Thankfully, he is too cute for words so I continue to forgive the stench.
I feel the same way about our finances right now. We have spent months trying to dig ourselves out of the hole we are in and it seems like it just keeps getting tougher. It is so hard to plan meals and eat the right way when your finances are limited. With my surgery coming up in addition to the financial stresses I have decided to switch my food plan to maintenance. This way I can have a bit more flexibility and still know that I won't gain weight during my down time.
I am pretty blessed that many of my friends have offered to help out while I am required to be off of my feet. Some are bringing meals, some are going to help me take care of Chance and some are helping to get the big kids to and from school.
I have never reached out to my friends for help before, not even when the twins were newborns, but I am very grateful that when I did so many stepped up to pitch in.
I am really grateful that we are able to schedule my surgery this month. It might seem crazy to schedule it just before the Christmas holiday but the holiday is what will make this whole thing easier on us all. I am having ankle surgery and have to be non-weight bearing for three weeks. I run into several obstacles to this. First, we live in a split level house and our only bathroom is downstairs. The only place I can really supervise the entire house from is the living room. I can see into the big kids room, the master bedroom and part of the baby's room from the couch. I can obviously see the living room and I can also make sure that no one is goofing off in the kitchen. The kitchen is also where the kids are allowed to have their craft supplies out. Add to that, the baby's room is upstairs and he naps during the day, he is ready to turn 2 in a couple of weeks and has quite the stubborn streak. I have no idea how I could manage to get him down for nap on my own, unless he actually wanted to go.
All the planning ahead for this simple surgery has been crazy. The thing that is really frustrating me is the surgical center. The surgeon scheduled my surgery for the 16th but the surgical center won't call until the day before to let me know what time I need to be there. I have three young children to plan care for and it is really annoying not to be able to plan ahead.
Falling into the trap of emotional eating is my greatest fear. It has been my downfall in the past and we have had such a stressful few months that I know the trap is lurking. I see myself craving carbs and maxing out my calorie allowance. These are things I hadn't been doing or thinking about in a while. I will get through this.
Oh, by the way this week marks my 6 month anniversary with OA. It took me six months of thinking about going and two months of talking about going before I walked into that first meeting. That moment of courage has changed my life.
I have hope for the first time that I can live a healthy and happy life. So even while I am terrified of falling into old habits I know that I have the support of so many people around me.
My ankle surgery is scheduled for next Thursday. Now comes the panic mode cleaning of the house and the crazy catching up on the laundry. We also have to figure out where our little man is going. One of my oldest friends and his girlfriend have offered to watch the baby but Chance doesn't know them so I am a bit anxious about that. It is a good back up plan if no one else is able to help though. The big kids will be in school. My husband will be using his last vacation day until next May to be home on Friday. My parents are going to get me to and home from the surgery. Our only bathroom is upstairs in our split level and since I will be on crutches for at least 3 weeks I am nervous about my tiny bladder. Oh well! It will work out.
