I am truly a mom over the top! I have been a compulsive overeater for most of my life. The first time I remember specific over the top eating behaviors was when I was 13 years old. That was 24 years ago. I started on this journey to health, to abstinence, to sanity in May, 2010. I hope that by blogging I can help, not only myself, but help others to know that they aren't alone. My tools on this journey are Overeaters Anonymous and SparkPeople.

Guilt, stress and the recovering over eater

The last week or so has been pretty rough around here. The Kansas City area has been overwhelmed with rain and we ended up with six inches of water in the basement because our power was out and the battery backup on the sump pump didn't last long enough to keep the basement dry. The big kids' play area was down there and with the ground water/sewage that filled the basement about 95% of the toys they owned were destroyed. We discovered a few days later when another heavy rain hit that the foundation is leaking in a few spots, luckily we are renting to own so it is our landlords' financial responsibility to repair, along with the roof leak in our kitchen.

Our beautiful clean garage (that we just cleared out a month or so ago) is now half full of furniture that was stored in the basement. Until we know it will stay dry I don't want anything down there so for the time being we can't park in the garage.

On Saturday we discovered that one of the tires on my car had tread separating from the tire and I didn't just need to replace them this summer but we need to replace them NOW.

My gorgeous daughter whacked her hair of with kid scissors yesterday. I wanted to cry.

I stay home right now because full time daycare for three kids would cost more than I would bring home each week. I do try to supplement our income with my tiny crochet business. That income only comes in spurts though and is pretty minimal when it does come.

Because of the flood last week and a nasty storm last night I have missed two Overeaters Anonymous meetings in a row. (hence the guilt) I plan to hit one on Saturday though.

The kids are stuck in the house most days because of the weather and as much as I love them they do make me crazy. Our house isn't big enough for two five year olds and a crazy almost 18 month old to burn off energy.

I feel perpetually stressed right now about the world around me and in the past that has always played out with food. I am working to change the way I react and to follow the guidelines I have set out for myself but I slipped up last night. Although I stayed in my ranges for calories/protein/fat/carbs yesterday I sat and ate popcorn in front of the TV and ate beyond full (more guilt). That is the first time in 3 weeks that I have eaten past full and I hate that I slipped. I know that I am human though and I am now aware that I am on edge.

Here's hoping that the next few days go more smoothly.


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