I am truly a mom over the top! I have been a compulsive overeater for most of my life. The first time I remember specific over the top eating behaviors was when I was 13 years old. That was 24 years ago. I started on this journey to health, to abstinence, to sanity in May, 2010. I hope that by blogging I can help, not only myself, but help others to know that they aren't alone. My tools on this journey are Overeaters Anonymous and SparkPeople.

Trying to find some inner peace

I am having a terrible time. So much stress lately, health, financial, etc. I did really well for the first several weeks and now I am really struggling again. We have been so tight financially that we are eating more cheap stuff and aren't able to buy as many veggies. I can feed us all for $2 on pasta with spaghetti sauce but it's another $3+ to add a full serving of veggies to a meal. I know that when I am not hitting the veggies and protein as hard as I should that I hit the carbs. The money that went missing while we were at Disney was basically there as a backup and we had counted on having most of it when we came home so we have been so broke. I had completely cut chocolate out of my diet because it is a trigger food but then Halloween hit and everything has been such a terrible battle since then. I ate a bunch of candy while it was here (I sent it to work with DH the next day) and I have just hit more and more sugar since. I knew it was a mistake at the time but I still bought a chocolate bar the other day and ate it in the car on the way home from the store so no one would know I hate this. I am terrified. I know that I just need to start tomorrow as a new day and get back on the program but that is so easy to "know" and can be so hard to do. I have come so far and I don't want to stop. I have gained a pound or two (the scales are balance scales and aren't perfectly accurate) and I don't want to add to that. This time of year is so hard because of the gloom and weather. Add my crappy ankle and the inability to exercise because of it and life freaking sucks. Oh, and MIL decided she would rather ply the kids with goodies (that we don't have room for) for Christmas than get us the community center membership that would benefit us all, DH and the big kids agreed because they all want goodies too. I get that she wants to play Santa but the ability to take the kids swimming in the dead of winter would be wonderful in addition to me being able to be active. UGH! If you made it this far thanks for letting me vent and stress and worry, sorry for jumping back and forth all over the place.


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