I wrote this to my amazing sponsor this morning
"I am starting fresh today. I am working the steps. I am getting back on track. It is a new day and I can do this. It has been so difficult the last couple of months and I can't thank you enough for your support. I realized last night as I tried to fall asleep that I hadn't completely given myself over in step three yet. I prayed, and I prayed and then I cried and prayed some more. I prayed for release from my burdens and prayed to let go of my will and listen to God, actually listen instead of hearing what I know is right and doing the opposite. What I had before OA was not a complete life and I refuse to go back to a half life of sneakily eating things that are not good for me. I refuse to be an angry person who snaps at the people I love with very little reason. I am going to embrace this freshly and begin again. I realize my life is unmanageable and I will find my strength through God and through working the steps. Through being open with others about my struggles instead of internalizing and hiding behind my fears."
I need this song today even though I have posted it before.
I am truly a mom over the top! I have been a compulsive overeater for most of my life. The first time I remember specific over the top eating behaviors was when I was 13 years old. That was 24 years ago. I started on this journey to health, to abstinence, to sanity in May, 2010. I hope that by blogging I can help, not only myself, but help others to know that they aren't alone. My tools on this journey are Overeaters Anonymous and SparkPeople.