I am truly a mom over the top! I have been a compulsive overeater for most of my life. The first time I remember specific over the top eating behaviors was when I was 13 years old. That was 24 years ago. I started on this journey to health, to abstinence, to sanity in May, 2010. I hope that by blogging I can help, not only myself, but help others to know that they aren't alone. My tools on this journey are Overeaters Anonymous and SparkPeople.


Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Water" performed by Josh Groban and Brian McKnight

When you're weary
Feeling small
When tears are in your eyes
I will dry them all

I'm on your side
When times get rough
And friends just can't be found
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

When you're down and out
When you're on the street
When evening falls so hard
I will comfort you

I'll take your part
When darkness comes
And pain is all around

Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will lay me down

Sail on Silver Girl,
Sail on by
Your time has come to shine
All your dreams are on their way

See how they shine
If you need a friend
I'm sailing right behind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind
Like a bridge over troubled water
I will ease your mind

There are moments in time when you just need to hear the right song.  I heard the Glee version of this song in the car today.  This comes after two weeks of the 21 month old with rotavirus, my five year old son being bullied at school and my five year old daughter spending the weekend with severe asthma problems leading to a re-diagnosis with asthma after more than two years asthma free.  I was woken this morning by the phone ringing and my mother letting me know that my uncle had passed away early this morning.  He died of metastatic lung cancer after 45 years of smoking.  So incredibly sad.  I wasn't terribly close to him but feel terribly sad for my aunt and my cousins who I was close to.

We are still in financially murky waters which got murkier with the asthma re-diagnosis because of the $93 worth of meds we just had to fill prescriptions for  (that was after we got two sample inhalers from the Dr. ).   I did apply for many jobs last week but haven't heard back about a single one.

With all of the turmoil surrounding my life over the past couple of weeks I re-evaluated my Spark People goals and upped my calorie intake a bit.  I have spent so much time running and caring for everyone else that I was wearing myself down.  It is time to give myself some breathing room.  I have lost 56 pounds so far and for this moment I want to concentrate on healing my mind and my spirit more than I want to focus on what the numbers on a scale are saying.  I know if I continue to track my food and set reasonable goals that I will continue to lose the weight but it will come off slower than it has to this point.  That is okay though.

I am tired and am praying for some relief but it may be a while coming still.  I continue to be incredibly grateful for OA and for the people there.  Each week I am touched by someone else's story as I find myself relating to so much that is shared.

Time for baby nap and mommy lunch :D


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